you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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