My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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