If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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