Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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