he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
