He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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