i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
