There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
