It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
