just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This is the high leading the old right now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
