fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
