she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
