i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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