idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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