No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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