guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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