You work out of a Hotel?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize