Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize