Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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