um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
