I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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