just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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