doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
