Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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