And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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