sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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