i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
