You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
