i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think a kid would responsible me up
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
