we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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