never play flip cup with pint glasses
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
