This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
