already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
