If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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