just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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