What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
