At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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