If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
