I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
