He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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