mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
where does the pee come out of this thing
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
