he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
