Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
