First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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