I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
my liver is dry heaving
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
