This girl is more easily done than said...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize