All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
