I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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