his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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