Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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