You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
