how do flat chested girls get laid?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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