remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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