it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
