Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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