sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i out mim tonsoeep
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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