How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
