i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
