I'm jealous of your bromance
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
