Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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