Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
