PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What drink are we having for lunch?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
