Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
