She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
