Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
