i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
