How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
