Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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