Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize