And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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